I could Just Cry

Well I FINALLY did some phone work that scared up some answers about our ability to adopt here in Australia.

What I found out was NOT what I wanted to hear.

The laws state that only adoptions pursued through Department of Child Services are legal. DoCS requires at least one adopting parent to be an Australian citizen. Citizenship would take over four years to establish.

There is a tiny potential loophole which states what I understand to mean "if you adopt as part of a Hague Convention country, through the equivalent of DoCS, and finalize the adoption in that country, then you can apply for an adoption visa, which would take 15 weeks."

I'm not even sure if we could find some way to adopt in that loophole. No DCS office would work with us as expatriates.  I don't think that living back in the U.S. for 15 weeks is part of our current plan.

So, I'm feeling pretty low right now, just crying on my keyboard. I've been ready to start the process for awhile now and suddenly it seems like it just can't happen.

Advice?

Comments

[AmericanFamily]

No advice, but your problem reminded me of this article I read last week:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/no-welcome-mat-for-the-baby-found-on-a-doorstep/2008/04/20/1208629731265.html

It sounds like the Australian system is very, very complicated.

Good Luck.

[dawn]

I'm wondering if you can adopt via a US agency somehow? Because I do believe they do this for military families sometimes? But I could be really really wrong. Maybe you could find a adoptive military families yahoo group and see if anyone knows a work-around.

[Amie R]

I have no advice. I know that you know how these systems work together WAY better than I do.

I have been thinking about how far off we are from another adoption, and coming to terms with that. I would like to adopt an older child/sibling group in the future, and I know that should probably wait for a while. More than likely (birth order aside) children with a history of abuse/neglect are going to need more time and effort than I have to give right now. AND I think I need way more parenting experience under my belt. BUT that is hard to think about...we are talking YEARS down the road. When you are so passionate about something...it is hard to come to grips with the idea that it has to wait.

So my advice is to spend some time with God about it, and see if this is him closing a door for you right now, or if you just need to keep searching for His way through these systems. Maybe...just maybe... this will give you the go ahead to birth number 3, and then adopt the next one...or two [think sibling group :)]. Four years seems like a long time, BUT your son is almost 3. If you are anything like me the 2.5 years I have had B seems like yesterday.

Keep your head up...I know you have been waiting to make the next move on the adoption front and this must be very disappointing news.

[Mayhem]

No advice... I am sorry it looks like it's more complicated than you expected.

[Dad]

Sorry to hear the news. God has so overwhelmingly worked through your first adoption in Small Sun that I dont think He will miss it on your next one. So miss you.
Dad

[abebech]

I'm sure you've looked into all of this, but I do know US families living abroad who have adopted through US agencies -- it does require two trips some weeks apart, but it is done under US law . . .

[Margie]

I'll keep my fingers crossed!