B's crib is gradually breaking. Because B came with his own crib, I gave our previous crib away on Freecycle, in the spirit of anti-hoarding. Now I wish I had it because B's crib is breaking.
B is 2.5 years old. I have a perfectly good toddler bed sitting in my garage (that no one on freecycle wanted). Wouldn't the logical thing be to put B, who is old enough, into the toddler bed instead of looking for a new crib? Of course it would be.
With foster care I am always looking ahead, wondering which parts of the year this child will be with us? Will he be here for Christmas? Should I buy Christmas presents? Will he be here for Easter? Do I have matching shirts for the boys for Easter Sunday? What should we do about booking our plans for the spring school holidays? Can we go somewhere more adventurous that our three are big enough for, or do we need to plan a nap-friendly schedule for B?
It's all up in the air. Christmas came and went, obviously.
I don't think ahead to things like transitioning from a cot to a bed, or potty training, or applying for preschool because it's not likely that I will be the one making those decisions.
Except now I am, because the cot is breaking, and I have a perfectly good toddler bed in the garage.
Another reason I hesitate (other than the tiresome parenting work these transitions require), is that as an adoptive parent, I am very aware that each of these transitions is a significant lost first for his permanent family. A chubby toddler in diapers, who sleeps in a cot, is still a baby for whatever family he is with long-term. A big, almost preschooler baby, but a baby still.
A child in a bed and out of nappies (diapers) is more of a boy. There will be more that they've missed, and they've already missed a great deal.
I find I'm always stumbling like a drunk trying to walk a straight line when making these decisions. I stagger over onto the side of "most immediately convenient", then fall headlong towards "best for his future family". I take pictures like any sentimental parent, not knowing what scrapbook/baby book/forgotten file folder they will end up in.
For today we'll try to keep the cot together and decide what to do next.