Actually, good people make good neighbors.
The house behind us is immaculately presented from the street, without a weed or stray piece of gravel to be found. They are downhill from us and we have seen them spend the last months putting in a gorgeous hand-cut stone patio and entertaining area. It all looks good, but what I hear come over the fence is poison.
Several months ago the parents and their young daughter were outside. The girl seemed a bit grizzly and whiny, but within the norm for a young child. I heard the parents berate and accuse, threaten, and demean that girl for quite some time. The things they said to her broke my heart. In the end she was crying, and I think I was too.
It only happened that one time and I began to wonder, did I really hear what I thought I did? They seem like normal people. They have friends over for bbqs, they spend saturday afternoons puttering around the garden.
Today I was in the garden by myself and they were out in theirs. This time I became aware that they also have a little boy that the mother talks to with sweet enthusiasm, in addition to the daughter she kept snapping at.
"All parents get worn out and are less kind than they should be." I thought.
"You are being so naughty, you really are. You are three, and you are becoming so naughty." said the mom's antagonizing voice.
"Great." I thought, as I hadn't heard the little girl whining or crying or throwing a tantrum. But then what I heard next left me standing still, garden tools forgotten, eyes stinging with rage.
"You're so naughty. I should put you up for adoption. Do you want me to do that? Do you want me to put you up for adoption? Do you want me to find another family for you? Because I can do that if you want!"
The girl made a small noise in the affirmative, I'm sure having no idea what her mother was talking about.
"You do want me to put you up for adoption? Okay, how about I put you out on the street with a sign around your neck saying 'up for adoption'? Let's do that."
I nearly climbed my peach tree to start yelling at her over the fence, but then realized that wouldn't matter to her and wouldn't make any difference anyway.
I don't know who I was more mad for, her little daughter that she was bullying and intimidating, or my children who might have overheard her sickening game, had they been outside at the time.
Later, after the mother had corralled her kids inside (I thought), I heard the little girl banging on the door and screaming hysterically. The mom came to the door and asked in a concerned voice "what's wrong? are you okay?" But then she continued with something like "was there someone there? Did a scary person come? Cause that's what happens when you don't come in with mommy right away. A scary person can come and take you and hurt you."
I hate people who make children feel small and vulnerable and afraid. I hate when adults use their power to bully and abuse children. It is one of the only times where I feel angry to the point of violence, furious to the point of rage, and unforgiving of the person's issues. Maybe she's bipolar or depressed or something, but no child should experience that kind of meanness from anyone, their mother least of all.
Would you report her to the Department of Children's Services? I know it wouldn't warrant an investigation, but it might set a precedent if someone else makes a report when the girl goes to daycare or preschool. I'm usually about giving people the benefit of the doubt, but at this point it is clear to me this woman is emotionally abusing her daughter.