Growing Family

Choosing to Parent the Vulnerable Child continued

First of all, thanks for not flaming me. I wanted to come back and respond to some comments and expound on this a little bit more. Because a lot of people are reading who don't normally read here, and who don't have a feel for who I am, I thought I'd fill it in a bit.

I am a gut-wrenchingly honest person. In my real life, some of my friends call me "The Diplomat" because I say what I think, but in a very careful way. Here, this blog, this is my place to open my mouth and let what is fighting around in my brain tumble out. I try never to swear because my mother reads, and I try to never hurt any friends through the airing of my frustrations, (and unfortunately I still have) but I consider this my place to work out my process. That's not always pretty. It also means that it is a PROCESS, and that I will admit here, the extremes of my thinking, not necessarily the thought out, measured, end result.

Thank you very much for your comments. I'd like to pull out bits and pieces to respond to.

Susan said:

...She managed to make real connections with her children's (Korean) community. I think she is a true inspiration and role model in this area.

(If I don't want my child's community peering over my shoulder as I parent, I can just adopt a child in complete isolation from their culture. That's a choice I can make.) Yes, you can, but please don't do that.

Real connections are what I'm after. I think music, food, holiday traditions, etc are important, but they are not what actually connects a person to their culture. Time spent with others is. I also think that a familiarity of the language of origin, if not fluency is also extremely important. Inability to communicate with kinsman is huge in people not connecting with their roots.

In regard to intentionally adopting a child in alienation from their culture for my comfort, I would never do that. It goes against everything I believe in. My statement came from my emotional reaction over realizing how much power of choice I have.  I've thought about it a lot before, but somehow being here, I am FEELING these truths on a deeper level and that is impacting me.

Cloudscome said:

...I feel the need for black friends who will call me on my blunders. One of the great things about the church we moved to a couple years ago - I'm building friendships in families that meet this need. In my old all white church I could go my merry way oblivious until my boys were old enough to realize what they were missing.

I completely agree and I'm glad you are finding that now. We were just beginning to make some friendship-level connections with black members of our church when we moved. Building friendships across racial lines in our city was so much harder than I expected. I hope things develop more naturally here.

Alice commented:

... I hadn't thought about the accountability side of things before, which strikes me as absurd now that you point it out. It really is a huge privilege to be able to avoid that kind of scrutiny, and therefore it's one to guard against even more assiduously.

In Nashville, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was in the grocery store with my son. His hair was pretty long at that point and I'd run out without fixing it. It was a windy day and his hair was messy, but not a mess. The girls checking me out (in the fancy place I shopped, most of the staff was black but most of the patrons were white) were asking about my pregnancy and when they heard I was having a girl they said "well, if you're having a girl, you'll need to learn how to do HER hair."

That was the closest thing to a criticism I received from the black community.

Alice again:

...I also think that we give too little weight to *children's* lack of agency generally. Children who are born into a family also don't get a choice as to their parents...

Adoption has many, many additional elements at play that will factor in, but the fact that our adult relationships with our families are *all* built on mutual choice is an issue I see very few people discuss...

You're right, and I've argued the same point. The reason I think the dynamics are different in adoption is that my son has another family. Many people grow away from, or intentionally separate themselves from their families, but there is not the dynamic of choice between two families. I've heard so many adult adoptees say they waited to search for their first parents until after their adopted parents passed, or that they wanted to search for years but didn't want to hurt their adoptive parents, even when they say their relationship with their adoptive parents is a great one.

In open adoption where there is ongoing contact (visitation), the child is building real and meaningful connections to both families. And in the case where a child doesn't know their first family, the romanticization of their existence can grow even stronger. I think many children and teenagers fantasize about having a different family out there somewhere, but for an adopted child, that is true. That is why I think the relationship has inherent vulnerabilities, because there is another family out there and your child might ultimately find more in common with them. It's not something I'm afraid of, but I am aware that my child will have needs that I can't fill, and that his first family might be the place he turns to to have them filled.

Amie said all sorts of nice things about me (see, I told you she's the best!) but let's talk about these:

...I understand what you are saying about your white privilege in general. What I can't comprehend (probably because I have only lived here) is how that is different in the US than it is in Australia...I find it interesting that you feel your power as a white woman being deflated, and realizing how much privilege you actually had...

...is this a legitimate concern culturally when you think about the environment your child would be raised in? Will there be a stigma on the child that he/she is "adopted" in this culture, and therefore the child may be treated differently or even shunned by the culture? Will the CHILD be scorned if they are not up to snuff as a member of that community, and also would that also be the case if they were BORN into the community in the first place due to the whole collective culture mentality? Maybe the accountability factor would be there regardless.

I am sure that racism is here (I've seen a little already), and we all know that white privilege is alive and well pretty much the world over.  I think the difference was, in Nashville I knew what that looked like, how it tinged my interactions with others, and how I was trying to live outside of it. Here, I'm in a snow-globe that's just been shaken and I'm trying to sort out what's what.

I've never lived in a place with such a high ratio of ethnic minorities to european ancestries. So I think, for starters, I'm justing getting used to being in "mixed company" ALL OF THE TIME, if that makes sense? I'm sure my privilege is still there, I just can't see it at work for me because I don't know the culture.

In regards to adopting an Asian child and navigating the "collective culture mentality", it is a very interesting thing to consider. Back in Nashville, I never really considered adopting a Chinese child, one reason among many being that the only Chinese people I knew of in Nashville, were Chinese girls adopted by middle to upper class white evangelicals (Steven Curtis Chapman being at the front of that movement). So, as far as I could see at face value, THAT was the Chinese community in Nashville, and it didn't seem fair to bring a child into a situation where they had no peers or role models.

Beyond the issue of isolation, there are cultural values to consider. I know that adoption of a non-blood relative is a foreign concept to many Asian cultures, even though the informal adoption of kin is not. At this point I wouldn't begin to know what it would mean for a child from any of the cultures I mentioned to be adopted by white parents and then re-introduced to their culture here in Sydney.

Finally, Mayhem said:

...Not blowing off your concerns at all, but you did JUST move about two seconds ago to a new country and culture(s). Maybe in a few months or a year things will feel different regarding potential acceptance of you, your family, and a potential child by the community around you. Maybe it won't feel different. But don't be too tough on yourself or other people too quickly!

You're right that there is no one to hold adoptive parents accountable for keeping kids connected to their culture or community of origin. (Other than *maybe* the adoptees themselves once they're grown.) It is a privilege, and good to acknowledge.

Whew, thanks Mayhem Mama! I don't need to figure it all out today. :) But back to what I was saying at the beginning, this is not my POSITION or anything, just some feelings I had to get honest about before I could move foreword. It will be really interesting to find out how people feel about adoption here. We see lots of mixed race couples with their biracial children, and I feel like that is a good sign. I have yet to see any obvious adoption relationships though.

Coming to the realization that no one is holding me to my intentions, which I think are right on, was kind of shaking.

Well, this is about beaten to death, isn't it? I'd like to come back in a different post and talk about our choice to move here that took us away from a significant black population to a significant diverse population in general, and what benefits we hope our children will gain in being here.

 

 

 

 

 

Choosing to Parent a Vulnerable Child

Adoptive parents are endlessly pushing back against the public's assumption that the strength of their bonds with their children are less real or permanent. Ask about an adopted child's "real mother" and watch them recoil, or ask a family with adopted and birth children if they love all their children the same and you are likely to get cold silence or an earful. We are used to people questioning the strength of our relationship so we defend it with the intensity any parent would.

I find though, that from one adoptive mother to another, the conversations go somewhat differently. In like company, our fears and vulnerabilities surface. So right now I'm going to speak to you as if you were another adoptive mother, and skip the mother lion routine.

I think that the adoptive relationship has the potential to be inherently insecure. When people ask if I can love the son I adopted in the same way I love the daughter I bore, (and they don't really ask that) I can ask them if they love the spouse they married as much as they love their children. The relationship has power because of a mutual choice. Couples fall in love and make commitments.  The analogy might work for the way I feel about the son I don't share blood with, but he will have to decide if he feels the same.

Not right now, of course. Right now he is insanely in love with me and I am the core around which his little life orbits. In the future is when he will have to come to terms with the fact that his presence in our family was decided by adults and was out of his power.

That's been on my mind as I think about adopting again. As the choosers in adoption, we have so much power. We pick everything. Maybe our choices are limited by circumstances like which programs we qualify for, but we are still making choices that result in a child joining our family. In cooperation with agencies, social workers, and governments, we bring a child into our family that has no say, whatsoever in the matter.

Personally, I think that's messed up.

I don't know how it could be any different. That's the way of the world: people with power make choices they think will benefit the vulnerable.

I'm not saying that children won't be benefited by being adopted, especially children who will grow up in institutions if they are not adopted. I'm just saying that when a child gets old enough to understand that they were vulnerable and other people decided what would happen in their lives, that's got to be hard to deal with.

I've been thinking of this specifically in regard to choosing a country program, or another U.S. adoption of a black child.

We were at the park this week and my kids were playing with an Asian girl. There is a massive Asian population in Sydney that includes primarily people of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Pacific Islander, and Vietnamese heritage, as well as a large Indian population. The area where we live and the places where we travel seem almost 50/50 Anglo/Asian or Indian. Anyway, at the park I was imagining how I would feel if I was parenting an Asian child and was at the park with this other mother.

I realized that I felt intimidated to parent a child of another ethnicity, right under the noses of people of that ethnicity, in a culture where adoption is uncommon. Back in Nashville I was interacting with the black community all the time (on surface levels), but adoption is not uncommon there. Here it feels like my child's community (if they were Asian or Indian) could really scorn me if I wasn't up to snuff as the parent of a child of their community.

As a white woman raising a (biracial) black son in the South, I think I was pretty isolated from criticism because of my white privilege.

Suddenly India (which was the more serious consideration) wasn't seeming to attractive and I started to think about Africa some more. That's when it dawned on me, how much power I have and how vulnerable children are. If I don't want my child's community peering over my shoulder as I parent, I can just adopt a child in complete isolation from their culture. That's a choice I can make.

I've always said that raising a child in close proximity to their cultural heritage is what I'm striving for, yet I find myself afraid of adopting a child from another country and being criticized and rejected by that community. I'm feeling the cushion of my power as a white woman in a highly racialist city deflated, and coming to realize how much it was there. I'm feeling myself accountable to the way I raise another culture's child. Before, cushioned by my whiteness in a white/black hierarchy, it was my aspiration and goal to raise my son to be connected and proud of his black heritage, but no one could hold me to it. 

So there it is, my nitty gritty dirty confession, talking to you like my closest adoptive mom girl friend who I know will listen with an open heart and help me find the high road. I'm talking to you like it's only Amie listening. Go easy on me, I'm trying to be woman enough to fess up to my own prejudices, even though I've seen others get flamed for it.

Good for the Garden, Bad for the Laundry

In Nashville, (I am trying very hard to say "in Nashville" instead of "at home", so that I begin to accept that we are making a home here) in Nashville, I did laundry on Mondays and Fridays. That activity formed th bookends for my week. Laugh all you will, but by Sunday night I'd be thinking about Monday morning and getting the week going. I love structure, and after the weekend of spontaneous meals, sliding nap times, and sharing the house with the Captain, I was always ready to start putting things in motion Monday morning. I love for things to be tidy and organized. Don't get me wrong, the Captain is the cleanest man you will ever meet, I just have my SYSTEM and he doesn't remember how that works. ;)

Here, I'm doing laundry every day. It's a big chore. You've got to check the pockets and do the buttons and everything more thoroughly with a front loading machine. Then there's putting everything out on the line...and bringing it in if it starts to rain, then putting it back out, or putting it all on the drying rack in front of the gas fireplace.

Today is the first day the laundry got totally rained on outside. Jeez. We had a couple nice days when we got here, and we've had a couple more here and there, but basically we're going to have to grow flippers or something! It has been raining at least part of the day for about a week.

Yesterday I found the equivalent of Lowes, thanks to a nearby neighbor introducing himself over his veggie patch. I finally found something cheaper here than in the States!

These blue pots were only $45 each! For those of you not completely aware of the prices of terra cota glazed garden pots in the U.S., these would probably be $80+. The whole front of our house is paved and I wanted something to kind of close it in a bit. I put one on either side of the driveway and I like them a lot. I bought something that I think is called Star Flower that is from South Africa and it is just beautiful!

It is supposed to bloom through winter and into spring (it is fall here now). I also got some lettuce, coriander, carrots, and broccoli to fill out my kitchen garden. The girl who helped me at the store was just awesome, giving me a little tutorial on the climate and growing season here, and helping me pick appropriate plants. She was super friendly too and I wished I knew some way to strike up a friendship with her.

Having some veggies in the ground helped me cross the threshold of "this is some kind of weird vacation" to "we live here". The metaphorical "putting down roots" is very literal for me. When I have something growing in the ground, something to check on every day, something to care for, something to look forward to harvesting, and something to help me track the passage of time, it makes all the difference. Right now, 8-10 weeks feels like a lifetime away and in a strange place with different seasons, I can't begin to imagine what will be happening then. But, I know, that my carrots will be getting big, and that the broccoli will be tempting me to eat it, even if it needs a little bit more time to ripen.

Relationally, the Captain and I are navigating the first little bit of turbulence. On a bigger scale, we are living in a constant Sunday night. With my mom gone, the house is my responsibility. The Captain comes and goes from interviews, and needs a lot of time and space to study for tests. The kids are craving his attention and I am trying to keep them satisfied and occupied. If he was just home to hang, it would be so fun, but the coming and going and unclear roles in child and house care are getting a little uncomfortable. I'm looking forward to having a predictable schedule where I know what my responsibilities are and the kids can settle into a rhythm.

Thanks for each of your comments. Having you along for this journey helps me so much. It's amazing how much support and encouragement can travel through the Internet!

So, I've talked a lot. If any of you have questions or want to hear about particulars, drop and email or write a comment!

On Our Own

My mom left today. I poured myself into getting this house under my domain. My mom has graciously cooked for us, set up the kitchen, such as it is without our shipment, organized a laundry and trash system, done amazing things with the kids, and in general, made this move intense but enjoyable rather than overwhelming and impossible.

I've heard people refer to the way it rains here as "buckets". That is, "we better get inside before it buckets". Well today I was bucketing tears, missing my mom. Applying myself to housework proved a good distraction. I felt better after cleaning.

After having three adults to navigate, the kids pushed the boundaries hard when I had them alone today. I held the line firm at the standard I want them to adapt and they seemed reassured by it. After some firm scolding, some serious talking, and a couple incidents requiring a firmer hand, they were running to me for hugs and snuggles. Typically, I'm their number one companion and teacher. For the last couple weeks I've been one in the team of care givers. I think they felt comforted by having me back in my normal role.

Small Sun is cracking us up, big time. The things he says are just too funny. Of course I can't think of anything right now...And Sprouty is giving us a run for our money. We have a high chair here that got grabbed from the curbside, to hold us over until ours arrives. The straps are broken and Sprout is such a limit tester. By the end of each meal she's spent time sitting on the tray, putting her feet on the tray (and having them sternly removed), and even standing on the tray, upending her sippy cup towards the ceiling. In spite of her antics, I think they're settling in here.

And now, for some pictures.

The clouds over Sydney before we landed.

The Kids, SO HAPPY to be free to run in the Sydney Airport

Our new House

Looking at the bay from our front porch (Sprouty is in their too)

Building furniture

Things I Love at the New House:

Well, my front door for starters. The knob on the top right is the bell.

The front hall with its double arches and hanging globes.

My new front loading washing machine, the laundry drying tree, and the lingering smell of fresh laundry.

My deep, long, claw-foot tub and the fact that the toilet is in the toilet room, away from the bath, and that the bathrooms have lovely tile that goes about 6 feet up the twelve foot ceilings.

My kitchen rug

My flower pots

My trash cans: rather, the environment as a priorit.
Yellow is recyclables, Red is trash, Green is grass/weeds/etc

My fledgling herb garden (yes, I've only been in this house for nine days)

Curly Parsley, Basil, Sage, Thyme, and Mint

Super warm duvet and cover

And some Sydney stuff to top it off:

Manly Beach - The Sprout's first ocean experience

-xxoo

Making a Home

Today marks the two week point. Yesterday I was crying like a baby, missing my friends. Tonight, driving around Sydney, I felt like this is "my" city.

Bit by bit our empty, echoing apartment is starting to feel like home. Our container won't arrive for another 2-3 weeks but I got some pictures up tonight, and thanks to another Ikea run, we've finally got enough furniture and basics to feel a bit more cozy. I'm going to post some pics of the things in the house that make me happy.

We're getting into a system. I've done a lot of laundry, and laundry is MY THING for feeling settled in a routine. That and I dug around in the back yard and started an herb garden. I don't want to invest in landscaping the yard when this place is so temporary, but herbs are practical.

Small Sun is feeling much better and now the Sprout is a leaky faucet of fluids. Poor girl. Even sick she is still spunky - wait, doesn't that mean something else here?

I've got a lot of things on my mind to write about. Things I've been pushing aside to make way for move related stuff. When our container comes and our desk is here, with our monitor and a real keyboard I'll start reading blogs and writing more. Laptops just don't satisfy me.

The Captain is on the job hunt in a big way. After being top stack at his old job for five years, the transition is shaking him up a little bit. But like he told me yesterday, "if you're not walking on the edge of a precipice, and there's not risk, then it's not a real adventure is it?" Hmf. Way to comfort a crying wife.

Well I'm off to bed. Did you know that my bedside tables are empty boxes piled on top of each other? And did you know that this house doesn't have heat or air, or a dishwasher, or space for a dryer? We are kicking it old school, and that's not unusual here. It's a lot like Holland that way. Those things are more luxury items. In America we call luxury items necessities.

Nighty.

Small Sun

Shortly after we got here Small Sun spiked a high fever. It got up to 105 (40.5C) and we were scrambling to find medicine before the shops closed, and I was searching for the nearest ER (I still don't know where it is). The medicine brought his fever down quickly. Over the next couple days he seemed fine but would have a sudden fever that would respond to medicine. He's been fine for about a week but today the fever's back and he has thrown up several times.

It's scary to be in a new place with no pediatrician and no known emergency resources. I am typically frightened and anxious on the rare occasions that my children are sick, and that is when I have all the resources available to me as a city dweller with good insurance and reliable transportation.

So much of this move is putting me into greater awareness of my privilege. As an immigrant navigating a new country, the evidence is constantly before me that my way is made secure by money. I don't think in a socialist-oriented system like Australia I could end up on the street, but the ease and availability of transport, food, housing, etc, is all accommodated by our ability to manage our budget in this expensive market.

Having a sick child and not knowing where to take him if a crisis were to develop gives me a small sense of the helplessness of being alone in a new place and having nothing, or having no resources to provide for the needs of your child.

I can't really imagine. That's privilege at its height - not even being in touch with real need.

Buying Cars and Taking Names

Today The Captain came home with our new car that he bought yesterday while I was at Ikea furnishing our new house.

The car is the reddest red I have ever seen. We are going to name this car so if you have suggestions, toss them in the proverbial hat. We looked and looked (granted, only for about five days) and didn't find anything and then this popped up. It's an A4 Audi Wagon. We loved our A6 wagon so much and this is the closest thing we could find. Sunroof, tinted windows (a big plus in such a bright place as this), and a horse of an engine. Yippee.

Yesterday I spent seven hours at Ikea. Crazy, huh? The Captain dropped me off on his way to Auto City and the plan was for me to speck out what we needed while he looked for a car. Then we could just glide through and make our selections. Well he was gone car shopping for three hours, then we walked through and chose stuff, then went through the warehouse to load three carts of flat boxes of to-be-assembled furniture before taking it to the home delivery counter to have them take it to the new house. We're going to be setting up furniture for days.

Between putting down three months rent plus one month bond, buying a car, and the Ikea trip, yesterday was the biggest spending day we've ever had. I got a little panicky when I realized how much we'd spent in one day, but then I was able to remember that this is all in our budget and we've been saving for this move for years. Thanks to the values and principles of the Captain's former employer (think "Debt is Dumb, Cash is King"), we have been diligent with our income and while this move is costing a small fortune, it's not breaking the bank.

So yesterday we got a whole lot done.

Today, too. We officially signed the lease today. Then we went to a shopping mall (3 stories, grocery stores, and everything else you can imagine) to get our cell phones and some other house stuff. We took the bus there and Small Sun was BEAMING the whole way there, he was so excited. His room in the apartment we're staying at right now looks down onto a busy street and he's been watching the buses  every day.  The ride back with all of our purchases and minus the Captain who'd gone to get the car, was only made possible buy the steady stream of snacks my mom had for just such an occasion. May I say, having my mom here is the ONLY way this is all working out so easily. She is INCREDIBLE and is saving our sanity. I can't imagine this move without her tireless help. She is amazing.

The mall we went to also had a children's play area. (I promise I'm wrapping this up.) Small Sun and the Sprout had SO much fun playing there. I was almost laughing there because in a matter of days, "diversity" has gone from being a buzzword and an effort, to being the reality we live in. Anyway, Small Sun climbed into a driving toy made for several children to use at once and there was already a little girl in there. She told him "no" and was pushing him over. While I was walking towards them to try to mitigate, she leaned over and FULL ON BIT HIM! Hard! He yelled "no, no, no!" at her and started crying, hard. I looked around and no parents seemed to be monitoring her and no one stepped forward to correct her. The other incident of note was that the Sprout slipped out of the play area where I didn't realize there was an opening. I was looking around for her and there she was, halfway across the mall, running in her little sock feet! Talk about a bolt of lightening going after her!

All this to say, it's been a busy week. It feels like several weeks! We now have a house rented, a car (complete with insurance, warranty, etc), bank accounts, furniture, cell phones, appliances, and an intact sense of wonder. The best part to me, is that The Captain and I have accomplished all of this, by the absolute grace of God, in complete harmony and affection with one another. Usually traveling and transition end up with us getting a bit catty, but this is like one big love adventure. I really can't believe it.

Birthday Blogging

What a fun day.

I slept until 6:45 this morning instead of 4:30, as I have been. We had a wonderful breakfast and then the Captain had an phone interview with a company he'd really like to work for. He sailed through it and will go in for a face-to-face soon. Then we drove an hour north to see a car. The drive took us through a neighborhood where we knew a house was available. It was really nice, but didn't click for our current needs.

The people selling the car were the sweetest and invited us in for tea, let us use their bathroom, eat a strawberry out of their garden, and look at all of their plants. And we didn't even buy their car. So far everyone we meet is just the salt of the earth. I don't think we've come across one rushed person, let alone a rude one. It's pretty amazing.

We drove home. That's right, home. We have a house. We don't sign the lease until tomorrow, but we have been approved to triple our previous rent budget to live in an adorable turn-of-the-century brick semi (what we would call a duplex, but with completely different connotations). It has been renovated but the period features have been retained: hardwood floors, gorgeous molding, 10 foot ceilings, window transoms, original tile work, fireplaces, and a large claw-foot tub. It also has a small, fenced back yard with a dear brick garden shed and a patio for dining al fresco.

Our house is diagonal from a large park with a playground, and from our front porch and master bedroom we can see one of Sydney's many small coves, filled with bobbing boats. The Captain can catch a bus at the top of the road and be downtown in 25 minutes. Within walking distance I have already found a grocery store, several florists, lots of restaurants, several salons, the post office, our bank, a pharmacy,a butcher and a baker, as well as several old churches. Then, since we are so close to the  city, pretty much everything you can imagine is within a couple kilometer radius. (yes, I'm already into the metric system - I have to be!)

We took measurements at the house to get ready to shop for furniture and appliances. After taking mom and the kids back home for naptime, we got lost going to a huge home design super center. The nice thing about getting  lost was that we got to see the part of town we thought we wanted to live in. Once again, it was just confirmation that the house we got is perfect for us. The Eastern Suburbs (where we were), seemed like MONEY and I think I would feel so much pressure there to be more than what I am right now, in terms of appearance and lifestyle. While living in Sydney is not cheap, I don't want to get into leading a fashionable lifestyle.

So finally we got to the place with a short amount of time left to hurry in and buy a fridge and a washer (front-loader, yes!).

A dinner of Indian food and a gorgeous cake were my birthday eats and then we had a dance party to B.B. King in the living room with the kids.

My mom carried on a birthday tradition of putting a huge basket (today it was a tote) filled with presents and flowers outside the door. Then the celebration was capped with my mom unveiling a box filled with birthday cards from friends back home. My sister called and I got e-cards from friends. So, even though I'm across the world from the people I love, my day was filled with warmth and I was showered with love and blessings.

We're Here

First off, let me say that I've been feeling quite badly that I haven't been writing since we got here. I never even got to write a formal final post before we left. Things have been CRAZY INTENSE here and I'm only just now finding a free moment to sit down.

The flights went really well and the only glitch was sitting on the tarmac in LA waiting to get in the air to Fiji. On the Fiji flight (11 hours) the kids knocked out and we all slept for a couple hours. They did just amazing. Before we landed in Sydney, the airspace was busy so they put us on a loop for about an hour. It was very cloudy so we couldn't see much, but it was exciting to be hanging out, right over our new city.

After an amazing descent over gorgeous Sydney, we finally deplaned. We were delayed because there was a sick child on the plane and quarantine boarded the plane to give the all-clear.  So once we were through immigration we went looking for our luggage only, like three other times THIS YEAR, our luggage didn't arrive with us. We got our rental car and the real adventure started.

The ride from the airport was harrowing but we got through it and now, three days later, The Captain is driving like a pro. We've only found ourselves back on the right twice. ;) I haven't started driving yet.

On Friday we had a 10AM appointment to see a house, at 2PM we went downtown to the main offices of our new bank to set up our accounts. Then at 4:30PM we saw another house. Saturday was pretty much the same, with the addition of The Captain's cousins spending the afternoon with us. Today we went to an outer suburb to hear a friend from The States speak at a church.

We're doing great. I'll give you more details later but that's the bare bones. I've had moments where I felt like we made a huge mistake, and moments of euphoria. Tomorrow we find out whether or not we are approved to rent a house we applied for. Getting a house, an address actually, is the first thing that needs to be done.

We've started a family blog that is password protected. Email me for details.

Okay, that's all I can get out right now. I'll try to put more info up soon!