It's Raining and I'm Thinking of Holland

I realize I haven't written about Holland or the Dutch aspect of our family much, other than some pictures from Sinterklaas. A couple different things have me thinking in that direction lately, so if you'll indulge me in some puttering about that topic.

First of all, I'm seeing something of a transition in our children's bilingual language development. Small Sun can clearly distinguish now between Dutch and English. He will ask me "why did you say that in Dutch?" or ask me about words like "coleslaw", which is literally the Dutch word for cabbage, "kol" and the Dutch word for salad "sla". The Sprout is still in the stage that Small Sun used to be in, where she mixes Dutch and English together when she's talking, and doesn't have the awareness that they are two different languages. She prefers certain Dutch words, like Small Sun did at that stage, but English words make up the vast majority of her vocabulary.

The Captain has started using more complex Dutch, in talking to Small Sun, and sometimes Small Sun will ask clarifying questions if he doesn't understand a word or a concept. He is still very resistent to speaking Dutch and we've only just begun to insist he answer a question in Dutch, or repeat a phrase when asked. We feel that we've given him long enough to listen, and now we need to begin to encourage him to speak.

In the U.S., the Dutchness of our family was typically overlooked. Here where we are surrounded by so many other migrants, I think we are able to hold onto that part of our identity a bit more. I always identify our children as Dutch-American to new friends (when discussing where we've moved from, etc) and am trying to establish recognition for that part of our family identity, as equal to our American identity.

We are at the end of a straight week of rain here in Sydney. Last Sunday it was 40 (104) degrees. That evening the temperature dropped 30 Farenheit degrees and the rain started pouring. It has been steady in the low 70s(F) and wet ever since, and we're looking at another week of the same. This wet, grey, chilly weather during summer has got me thinking about Holland as well.

While we are not planning anything (and no relatives should put any stock in what I am about to write!), I have been thinking about living in Holland lately. I have always been more interested in moving back to Holland than The Captain, but we both have a number of concerns about living there. Lately I've been wondering how we can raise our children to really be Dutch-American as opposed to simply having a Dutch dad. The story we hear over and again here is people who can understand but not speak their parents' language...who enjoy their parents' food, but don't know how to cook the family recipes, etc. I am completely convinced that the best way to really know a language and culture is through immersion. I am starting to feel that despite our best efforts to preserve our Dutch heritage, without actually spending some time living in Holland, our children will have trouble operating in Dutch language and culture.

I've always felt a certain amount of concern when I've thought about taking Small Sun to live in Holland, where we might have difficulty finding an environment where he isn't isolated as a person of color. If you've ever travelled to Holland, I'm sure you've seen lovely people with nearly white blond hair and the bluest eyes. While there is a lot of diversity in Holland, there is also a lot of lovely creaminess! When I am in Holland I feel we blend fairly well in Amsterdam or Haarlem, but when we leave the big city centers, we start to really stand out.

It's only lately that I've begun to wonder if potential challenges in regards to being highly visible might be outweighed by the benefit of gaining the skill to operate effectively in a second language and culture? Every once in awhile I remember that the fact that our family was Dutch-American, intentionally bi-lingual, and planning on living abroad was one of the main things Small Sun's first mother said was important to her in choosing us. I get so focused on wondering how the transitions will affect Small Sun, that I forget that these opportunities were very important to her. So I've been wondering if we might spend some time in Holland after all, with the main focus being to really solidify Holland in our children's identities.*

Besides all that, I'm forgetting what real cheese tastes like! So, that's a bit of an update on the role that Holland is playing in our household, and conversations these days.

*I read (and heard first hand) from several adult adoptees how they so disliked being expected to embrace a culture that wasn't their's, and I think I accepted that to be true for all adoptees and assumed that Small Sun might not want to identify very much with Dutch heritage since he is not linked to it genetically. The shift that is happening in my thinking these days, is seeing connection to Dutch heritage as opportunities for him to grow as a whole person. Being comfortable in a second language and culture is a valuable thing. He is free to establish, and change, and change again, his identity as he grows. Being Dutch may or may not make the final cut into his adult identity, but along the way I hope he gains experiences and skills that contribute to his success and confidence in life.

Comments

[quietstream]

Interesting read, as I've just been thinking of your family's connection with Holland! And regarding the latter part of this post, I can't help thinking of our president, and how the diversity of his experience, even the uncomfortable aspects of it, has contributed in wonderful ways to his breadth as a person and his ability to move more freely through many strata of American and international culture.

[Mayhem]

Hmmm... If you did move to Holland it wouldn't have to be forever necessarily, would it? You seem like the kind of family who would be up for the adventure and the challenge! The benefits might be worth the risks. I'm not sure how you would know how long to stay-- long enough to be truly part of Holland but maybe not so long that opportunities to form other parts of his identity as a person of color are lost.