Passing

I don't really know how to write this post.

October 14th my grandfather, who was 78, died suddenly and tragically in a head on collision. He was full of life and vitality and he was killed by a girl who was 26; a mother, beautiful, and reportedly high. She was driving while in a rage over being denied her pursuit of custody of her son. She crossed the double lines and even though my grandfather swerved to miss the collision, she came all the way over to the guardrail on his side and he couldn't miss that.

Both of their huge American cars (Land Rover and Large SUV) exploded into shrapnel and both of them lost their lives. An witness to the accident said that she had lived on that stretch of the road her whole life and that she had never seen anyone driving so fast. She estimated the girl's speed at 90 or 100 miles per hour. My meticulously careful grandfather wasn't wearing his seat belt because he was only a mile from his house, test driving the Land Rover he was working on for my cousin. It wouldn't have mattered if he had.

It was Thursday morning in Australia when my mom called me with the news. Friday I bought a ticket. Saturday I left to go to Philadelphia.

My trip was a whirlwind of jet lag, grief, reunions, shopping, culture shock, and caring for my five month old, Finch. Late nights talking with my cousins, long days at the viewing and the funeral which lasted for hours, a speedy trip up to Brooklyn to see my sister's new place, shoving as much Target and TJMaxx clothing for the kids as I could into my already full suitcase, sleeping in the attic room of my grandparents' house where I've been sleeping my whole life when I visit PA, seeing my brother and his family, playing with my nieces, being inseparably joined with my baby sister who I love so much, talking with my dad who is still recovering from a serious illness, having snatches with my mother, who as the first born bore the weight of the responsibility for arranging the funeral, and every moment expecting to see my spry grandfather pop in from his busy activities to say hi, as he always did.

I want to eulogize him. I want to tell the story of his life to you. I want to talk about what it was like to be back in America. I still feel shaky thinking about the nearly 48 hours it took me to get home...with a baby. I'm in the midst of the turmoil of returning to an (almost) three and four year old that I had to leave, suddenly, for nearly ten days, after having only left them overnight once or twice before in their babyhood. But it's all a blur. I'm still jet-lagged and grief stricken and disoriented over cultures and homes and...just all mixed up inside.

Comments

[OmegaMom]

I am so sorry. It sounds like a horrific accident. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Kelly]

Such a tragedy...so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers being sent to you and your family.

[Julie]

I am so sad for all of you. I can't imagine what you've been going through -- all the grief, PLUS the travel, PLUS the culture shock, PLUS the leaving your children & husband. It's just so much to deal with all at once.

I hope you are supernaturally overwhelmed with grace and peace and comforted by love and memories.

[JonathanWiles]

Peace to you and all your family. You are all in our prayers.

[Heather]

Oh, Kohana. I know there is nothing we can say that will make anything better. So I'll just say that I'm so sorry. I'll praying for you and your family.

[Doke]

Oh Adina, I'm so sorry....its tooo much to cope with all at once...I'm with you in thoughts and prayers...Big hug Doke

[a]

My sympathies on the loss of your grandfather...

[Delenn]

Coming from LAFCA. So sorry for your loss.

[Kristi]

I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for your family.

[Melissa]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Tamara Cosby]

My heart breaks for you! I can empathize with losing your Grandfather as my Granny just passed September 26th...I am crying for you and want you to know I will be praying for your family to experience a peace that passes understanding...I am so sorry...I cannot fathom the emotions you are going through right now. If you just want to scream, talk, cry, please don't hesitate to give me a call...I would be happy to be that shoulder for you! I'm going to FB you my phone number.

[My Bumpy Journey]

I am so sorry for your loss. That is just tragic. {{HUGS}}
LFCA

[Mayhem]

I'm happy that you were able to pariticipate with your relatives and that you're back home with your little family.

[Mic]

What an absolute tragedy. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
**LFCA**

[staciet]

Here via L&F

I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of your family during this difficult time.

[nancy]

What a tragic story and an unbearable loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

(lfca)

[Andromeda Jazmon]

Kohana I am so sorry. I am praying for you and all your family this weekend. Blessings my sister...