School, Revisited

We are really needing to make a decision about where to send Small Sun for school next year. The school year begins in February and we are already way behind in applying for private schools. We are just coming to the conclusion that this is actually what we want to do, and I'm feeling a bit panicked that we've left it too long.

Choosing a school here is a bit tricky for me. Maybe some of you remember what happened when we first got here and I toured a local school. The more I talk to Australians (both anglo/caucasian or non-anglo), the more I am starting to believe that my child is much less likely to have negative experiences in school directly related to his African American heritage. That is, it seems that even if he was in a majority-anglo school, he would probably have a very different experience than if he was in a majority-caucasian school in the States. (Is anyone else stumbling over all of this descriptors? I can hardly keep everyone's politically correct language straight these days!)

However, even if my son is not as likely to experience racism or prejudice, I still don't think that being in a homogeneous environment where he is the odd one out, is what I want for him.

I have a lovely, amazing friend who is a wonderful teacher. Seriously, this chick is devoted. On a recent trip together, a group of us were chatting and she relayed a story from her classroom. In her class she has one child whose skin is much darker than the child's peers. In the class picture, against the dark background, this child didn't show up. She felt so horrified to have made this mistake, and in the future will always make sure to have the students in front of a contrasting background. She never meant to make the child feel awkward. And while the classmates didn't tease this child, they did have a laugh at the teeth and eyes floating in the darkness of the photo. Not maliciously, but because they are kids and they thought it was funny. But she was mortified, and felt so badly for that mistake. 

I have actually read several accounts by adults, describing their experiences as darker-skinned children in lighter-skinned families/school environments where similar situations occurred and they felt embarrassed, humiliated, alienated, etc. See, my passion to have my kids in a diverse school environment isn't just about racism. I know kids self-segregate and that being in a diverse school doesn't mean they are going to be singing "We Are The World" at graduation. I just think that a school where there are lots of kids of different shades, different nationalities, and balancing home culture and language with Australian pride, just makes more sense for our family. We are, after all, Dutch-American-Australian with two languages and two colors represented in our family*. It can be a lot for a small child to carry around in their backpack.

So right now we're looking at two schools.

Option A is public, local (walkable), highest rated academics in the area, good sport fields, majority anglo middle-upper class socio-economic demographic.

Option B is private (yet affordable), Christian, 15 minute commute, Spalding method literacy program, no sport fields (use local parks, which is normal here for many schools), very diverse both culturally and socio-economically.

And while our proximity to School A is really great, we're in a rental property, and were we to buy, we would most likely be buying in the neighborhood of School B, given local housing prices.

True to form, I am having trouble making this decision from where I am standing now. My mind spins off to ask "Where can we afford to buy? Shouldn't we register for school there? Can we afford to live in Sydney long term? What about moving to California? Should we home-school so we can travel? I don't want to home-school. How long will we be in Australia? Maybe we should move up the coast where we could afford a house and live by the beach? What is going to happen with The Captain's work? Can we afford private school for three children? Three children? Wait, we're meant to have more! How are we going to get the other children into our family if we're in Australia?" And at that point my head is spinning and steam is pouring out my ears and I am holding the school enrollment forms and applications, completely overwhelmed.

Please tell me that this decision is only this hard the first time you make it and that after it is done, each year just follows along like a duck in a row. I'm giving myself about two more weeks to get the forms in, knowing that each day I wait, we'll be farther down the list of applicants for private school. Sometimes you just do what you can and pray for the best outcome.

*To be fair, I am really starting to see now that even when I pan an environment and is looks very "light" to me, there is still a lot of diversity represented. Biracial children, immigrants, etc. So even our local school is likely to have children balancing multiple identity factors, even if it looks homogeneous at face value. That's something that I love more and more about Sydney.

Comments

[Mayhem]

We just decided to keep the boys in their current school for another year. Our family has been with this school since my oldest turned one (now almost 7) and still it's practically a month by month decision. I'm always wondering, "Are we doing okay? Is this right for my kid? What if we tried this?" So ducks in a row? No, but I think it does get somewhat easier. There are always course corrections, but sometimes getting started (making the first decision) is hardest.