Growing Family

Waiting

I should start a whole category for blogs on Waiting. 

In a conversation I'm having with my dad I discovered that he likes to wait until he has something good to report, rather than share the struggle of the journey. We all like to stick a flawless landing, in front of an audience, pushing our chests out while the judges flash up Perfect 10 cards. Practicing the same move, over and over, falling half the time, well, it is easier to do that alone.

Sometimes I don't want to write because I'm not "there" yet. I haven't stuck the perfect landing. I'm just in the falling down stage, and I don't really want to put that out on display.

Right now we're waiting, and it is taking most of my energy to not be really pissy about it. Back to that in a minute.

The Captain and I had a big, huge, two-day conversation about what to do next with our lives. We're at a natural junction where we could pull up the stakes and go, or lay down some bricks and stay. It's either pull out now, or dig in deeper. We talked, and we talked, and we talked.

We'd take a break to feed the kids, put them to bed, and then we'd talk some more. Finally, when we were all talked out, we prayed together, and let it rest. We went to bed, and in the bright dawn of the next morning I woke up with my heart full of Australia. When I timidly confided this to The Captain, he breathed a relieved "me too". So that's it. We love it here. We want to stay until it's time to go. We want to dig in. 

I think I felt about five minutes of peace with our decision, before I started getting totally OVER being in a rented house. Renting was fine when our future in Australia was still undecided, but now that we know we'll be here for a bit, I want a place of our own. I don't know why I want it so badly, but I do. 

I grew up in a family that moved over and over again, always to houses that needed *ahem* renovation. I will forever be amazed at the transformations we could make with paint and elbow grease. And windows! Nearly every house we lived in ended up with my dad knocking down walls with a sledge-hammer and introducing walls of windows. I loved all of those transformations. I grew up reading the Boxcar Children. I know how to make pretty much anything into a home, and I love it.

Being in a rental where we can't paint, hang pictures, change the landscaping, or renovate the hideous bathroom is really stifling. I dream up all sorts of improvements, and I want to put my hand to them, but I can't. And for me, a creative person who likes to get stuck in to improvements, well I'm just about over it. Okay, I'm waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy over it.

So we want to buy, but the Sydney house market is insane. It's on par with places like San Diego, New York City, etc. Buying a house is not within our current means. So we're waiting. I'm chewing my lip and stalking real estate sites just in case someone wants to undersell their property. We could get a townhouse or apartment, but I want a GARDEN. I want windows. I want dirt. 

I love the house we are in and I would love to transform it into what I imagine it to be. In the meantime, I have to hold on tight to what is making me happy, and try to let go of what is eating at my joy. Here's to finding the joy in front of us!

My neighbor's roof and the Aussie sky.

Swiss Chard - Silverbeet

My husband

Kids and a kangaroo

 Water play!

The season's first mango

A boy and his bear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Kids Are...

Dutch

American (and African American)

Australian 

Raising kids this way is so fun and also challenging. I used to be so obsessed with working towards my children being able to "pass" in each of the cultural environments they are tied to. At this point it has just gotten to0 messy, and complicated, and they are so wonderfully complex that I've just thrown up my hands and shifted to enjoying who they are and this amazing life we're living.

Recently a university student studying child development spent a term observing Small Sun. At the conclusion of her observation she gave me a copy of her final report and the following (paraphrased for length) observation was included.

A Trip Overseas

Small Sun, Sarah* and Emmy* were at the pirate area in the back of the yard..."We need a map", Small Sun told the girls. He grabbed a clipboard with some paper and started drawing a map of where they were going to go, marking the stop offs with an X. When Sarah asked Small Sun what the X's were for, he replied "this one's a gas station, this one's a busy road, and this one is Australia." Small Sun then noticed that there were street maps in the area. He pointed to a spot on the map and said "look, the Opera House."

I then asked Small Sun where they were heading. "Australia" he replied...I was surprised and thought I would ask where they were now if they were going to Australia. Small Sun had a quick think and said "Russia." I asked the children if they thought that we could drive all the way from Russia to Australia by car. This made them think...

Small Sun turned to Sarah with a pleased look on his face and said "I think we need to put wings on this car." Sarah looked a little puzzled and asked "why?" 

"Cause we have to go overseas" Small Sun said simply.

It was finally time to make the trip to Australia...Small Sun was looking at the maps when he turned to us and said "when we get to Perth we go overseas, then we go to Melbourne and go on the busy road." The actual trip from Russia to Australia itself wasn't a very long one. They had a few bumps along the way but they finally landed in Australia safe and sound with the flying car in one piece.

What the student took away from her observation as interesting and important, was the childrens' imagination, sharing of knowledge and ideas, cooperation, communication and building skills, as well as Small Sun's interest in the maps.  I took something else away from reading her notes.

Small Sun is five. He understands that we live in Sydney, a city in the country of Australia. Also that we are from America which takes one whole day of flying to reach. Also that Pappa is from Holland which is a country in Europe, and is across the water from England, where his friend M lives. He can recognize pictures of New York city, where his Auntie lives, and he can differentiate between the American city where he was born, and the American city where his first family now lives. He knows about Bangladesh because his cousins were going to move there, and also about Tanzania because that is where they'll actually be. He knows you can't walk from Russia to Australia, yo, because there's a whole lotta water in between!

The Captain recently went to Holland with Sproutje (sprout-ya - little sprout), and now whenever anyone is travelling she asks "are you going to Kuala Lumpur?" because in the last two trips to Holland, we've stopped through. How many three year olds have Kuala Lumpur in their vocabulary?

My kids know that we speak two languages, but that mommy doesn't like to read books in Dutch and if you want to read a long book in Dutch, ask Pappa. They translate The Captain's speaking to their friends if he forgets to switch to english. 

They're swiftly taking on an Aussie-English vocabulary and I had to translate things for Small Sun when we were in the States in June. Now we have an American staying with us and I am having to translate between her and them when things are unclear. 

They know how to Skype and about time zones. They know email gets there fast but post mail takes some time. 

I can't sort and stack and compartmentalize these children into neat little categories, checking off the boxes to make sure each column of identity is full. This is a different kind of life and we are just rolling with it!