The Down Low

We're nearly two weeks into this new gig. When our tiny foster baby, The Ant, arrived, I was a little bit sick. I rallied, and for the first couple of days I kicked this whole parenting four thing, hardcore. We were early for school. Everyone had shoes on, and had eaten breakfast. I took showers and combed my hair. The Captain came home to a clean house and dinner on the table while I read to the kids on the couch, glowing a little with a maternal hue.

Then, I got the flu. We have since descended down some kind of dark tunnel. We have become a writhing, biting, fighting mess of unhappiness and illness. There are raisins and chip crumbs in the carpet, cubwebs hanging from the ceiling like circus nets, and the dog it about to put himself up for re-homing. 

I have not been so sick in a long time. Every time I'd start to pull out of it, The Captain would take a turn for the worse. We've been taking turns trying to keep things afloat while the other crashes, and neither of us has gotten enough rest to recover. How can you, when there are four kids who don't put their needs on hold? A new-born's sleep schedule doesn't exactly read "restful nights". 

So...between the quarantine for sickness, and being home-bound with a newborn, and finding my friend circle reduced because of friends moving, I'm feeling incredibly blue. We have four more days of school before the holidays begin.

I'm so excited to have a break from needing to do things, and having to get out in the morning, but I'm also worried. I'm worried about finding people to connect with when I'm already feeling lonely and isolated. I'm worried about packing to move with four kids underfoot. I'm worried about spending so much time with my kids when they've been a bickering, whining mess all week (and I haven't been much better). 

I feel like I've dropped all the balls I was juggling, and now I've slipped on them and fallen flat on my back.

Where's that wormhole home when you need it?

 

Comments

[Kelly]

Ugh, poor you! It's so hard when Momma gets sick. I hope you and the Captain start to feel better soon!

[quietstream]

Hold on, I'll be right over!! (how I wish). One day at a time...surely you will both be rounding this bend soon!