The Captain has declared me to have the lowest possible threshold for internet deterrent. That is, since we moved to the new house and have been waiting for our internet to be set up, we've had to use a wifi card. I have been on Facebook twice, only read my mail on my phone, and not read a single blog. Evidently turning the wifi device on, waiting 38 seconds for it to power up, and connecting to it through my computer is just too. much. work.
Somehow, waiting for my little internet making device has reminded me of another time in my life when I spent a lot of time waiting to get on to the internet.
When I was 15 and living in St. Petersburg, I met another missionary kid in Odessa, Ukraine. We became friends, and a teenage romance bloomed and blossomed. As has been the pattern with each relationship I've had, writing played a key role.
We used to spend the evening writing tomes back and forth. I'd receive a massive email from this guy, and immediately write an equally wordy response. With each email sent I had to wait for the crunching and screeching of the modem, with its little blinking lights, and then get offline again. We'd email back and forth, up to four volumes a night, finally calling it quits about 2 a.m.
While we were never officially dating, we were missionary kid dating, which means you are having a relationship but not calling it dating. I completely thought I would marry this guy. When we both moved back to the States, and he want to Bible school in Florida, I went down to visit pretty often. He broke off our non-dating relationship and I was heartbroken. Not long after, he proposed to a girl at Bible school.
Long story short, they got married, moved to Africa to be real-life missionaries, had three kids, moved back to the U.S. and eventually divorced in the midst of some really heart-breaking circumstances.
When I was growing up and imagining my future, I always thought I would be a missionary somewhere. I envisioned myself single, or maybe married, living in an orphanage, taking care of kids. I nearly had that life.
This is a very odd way to blog about my eleven year anniversary with The Captain, but as we celebrated our marriage this weekend, I spent some time thinking about the life I almost had. I know some people think about what could have been, had they ended up with another partner. Whenever I look back at that relationship, I let out a sigh of relief. It was such a near miss. I could very easily have married someone who wasn't right for me, and who ultimately had some very big issues that led to the disintigration of his marriage.
I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't dumped me. Would I have married him? Would he have asked me?
In the space left after my non-dating break-up, my friendship with the Captain had more room to grow. Eventually that wonderful and nourishing friendship developed some romantic tones and it was the gift of a lifetime to get to marry my best friend.
Eleven years in, I am amazed at how very perfect we are for each other, and how I respect him more now than I did before. I am amazed at what we are accomplishing as a team, and so, so thankful that the things that are closest and most dear to our hearts are still reflected in each other.
Instead of living in a third-world orphanage, I am now living in a beautiful modern house. Instead of sacrificing everything to care for a whole lot of children, I am living a life of daily sacrifice for four children. And instead of being married to a missionary, I am married to a genius-brainiac-software developer with a voracious appetite for learning, the strongest work ethic ever, full of vision and passion, and motivated by compassion to live his life to benefit others, starting with his own family.
Show me all the fish in the sea, and I doubt you could find his equal.
Eleven years in, I am so, so blessed to have a man in my life who loves me well, and keeps me connected to the internet.
Congratulations on eleven years!
Posted by: Kelly | 15 August 2011 at 03:44 PM
Huge congratulations to you guys! You are such an inspiring relationship, I couldn't have a better example (ok for a sister and brother in law) of what a dynamic, fluid and respectful relationship looks like. Beautiful writing, too, as usual. xo
Posted by: Adelle | 18 August 2011 at 11:44 PM
A wife that describes her husband in such a respectful, admiring, eloquent way, is the one that exceeds the most beautiful rubies!!!! Thank you!
Posted by: Doke | 20 August 2011 at 04:49 AM
Congratulations. This reminds me that "ministry type" occupations are not more valuable or "holy" than those of us who lead "ordinary" lives. You're both doing something very important.
Posted by: Shannon | 22 August 2011 at 08:32 PM