Adoption in the Classroom

This week I received the Kindergarten News Topics for term four. There, in week two, is my first experience with a school assignment that just won't work for our family.

Bring in a baby photo of Mum and/or Dad and a baby photo of yourself (you can also bring in photos of your grandparents or other family members). Talk about features that you all have and decide who you look like: Mum, Dad, or both (or other relatives).

I imagine the "other family members" and "other relatives" might be the inclusive language intended for our family as our open adoption is very open in the classroom, but that still doesn't make the assignment workable for us. Here is the note I'm sending in to the teacher (who I adore).

Dear [Teacher],

I just wanted to touch base with you regarding the news topic for week two next term. While this topic will likely be a fun one for most students, it poses some trouble for adoptive families. 

For a child adopted into their family, not having a physical resemblance and shared features is often a source of sadness and pain. Children adopted into their families deal every day with not "fitting in", in their families. An assignment like this could possibly heighten that awareness.

While I can provide birth family photos to complete the assignments, I would ask you to reconsider the topic. What about a simple baby photo collage with some memories to describe?* Please let me know if I can be of help regarding this topic.

Thanks for ALL you do, we do appreciate having you as [Small Sun's] teacher!

Kohana

I am very thankful that his teacher is very enthusiastic about working towards optimal solutions for each child in the classroom and I don't think this will be an issue. I am also thankful that Small Sun is incredibly confident and even if the assignment doesn't get changed, I know he will be proud to stand up and talk about his two families, as he so often does on his own already. 

*I realize that my suggestion wouldn't work for many adoptive families who don't have baby photos and memories to describe, but it seemed an easy switch to execute and would solve the problem right in front of us, if not satisfying potential future problems. 

Comments

[Kelly]

Mea had a similar assignment last year in pre-school. They did want baby pictures, and I do have some pictures of her before she came home at thirteen months.

We decided together to send one of each. One baby photo from when she lived with her foster mom, J. One baby photo from when she first came home, since 13 months is still a baby. I also said something to her teacher about how this could be hurtful and a set back.

[Shannon]

That was a great note - so well written. Maybe I'll "borrow" it when we get an assignment like this.