I love summer in Australia so much. The kids are all home, hubby gets some time off of work, we have no obligations or schedule to keep. In my not-so-secret fantasy life, we are a work-from home/un-schooling/large family living in the country eating our own fruit and veg and eggs. You know, like a blogger I am newly admiring, Soule Mama.
But we are not a large family (yet), and The Captain is gone 7:40-6:40, and there's school and the extras, even when I try to keep it all simple. I am such a home body!
By the end of the year I am exhausted and wondering "how on earth am I going to make it?" Then, miraculously, in Australia summer arrives. We pick up a box of mangoes and eat our way to happiness, juice running down our chins.
When The Captain is home, we can wake up in the morning and say "let's go to the beach" and enjoy an amazing day.
Baby gets to feel the sand on his toes, and get dipped in the sea. Is it his first time? I imagine so.
Finch embraces the beach with everything in him, delighting in the warmth and graininess of it, while Sprout makes "hand cars" to sit in.
We can go out to see the fireworks, or choose to stay in, watching a movie and eating ice cream before racing to the top of the hill to watch the explosions from our neighborhood.
I am mainly proud of two things I did last year, one with intention and the other by following small nudges until we found ourselves on the other side of a line of commitment that has changed our whole world.
First I lost 20 pounds. I have never done a diet in my life, so I am really proud of what I achieved. How to live out the change is still a process, but I can't believe I did it.
Second, we became foster carers and having Baby A in our lives has really been an immense experience. Some days I love it, some days I am ready to throw in the towel, most of the time I am amazed.
At New Year's time we often have resolutions and clear ideas of what we want to see changed in our lives. For me, summer is a time to refocus on the target I am always aiming towards; a time to find new passion for the same pursuits.
For us, last year was full of vision and ideas. This year I don't have much clarity.
What I do know is that I want to do what I like. I am the type of person that always asks "what should I do" instead of "what do I want to do?" Selfishness aside, I think it is good to feel out my own thoughts and opinions and desires. For me, this season of mothering young children at home is a daily sacrifice. There are starting to be little moments to breathe between meeting little people's needs, and in those moments I am getting to think about what I like, what I dream, what I hope.
So that is what I want this year. I want to reconnect with hope, and enthusiasm, and energy. I want to be inspired and create.
My children are old enough now that I can tell them "wait, I am doing something that is important to me." I think this year we need to make that transition of the kids respecting me doing me own thing sometimes. I love watching their play become more complicated and involved, and it seems that when I say "I'm busy," they often develop a fantastic game or pretend.
So this year, as I continue to do what I am doing, I want to feel my own self more, and know where I am strong and where I am weak. I want to know what I want, and go out and do it.
Today is New Year's Day and I painted a feature wall in Sprout's room in the most summery shade of pink. Putting it on the walls, it looked like a perfect summer lip gloss. The color made me happy, and that's a good way to start the year.