Growing Family

Magpie

I love to find treasures.

For as long as I can remember, I have found special things in the bottom of cardboard boxes at garage sales, in forgotten closet corners of empty houses, in the eaves of my Pennsylvania grandmother's attic, in the dark recesses of my Michigan grandmother's basement, and in the slightly forlorn layers of rejection at thrift stores. 

Things other people have thrown out, left behind, or forgotten.

Treasures.

One joy of having Baby A move away, and Sprout go to school, is I have been able to browse op shops - thrift stores, with a bit more regularity. I found two new favorites where I am rewarded with success each time.

After a week in the sick-house, I went out on my own today and enjoyed every moment of slow and quiet browsing, looking over every rack and shelf while Counting Crows, Etta James, and Tom Petty serenaded me from the speakers in the drop ceiling. It was wonderful.

I love retro towels. Now that we have a house with cupboards, I am in danger of filling them with soft, colorful towels.

The plaid throw was a recent thrift store find. The fake crocodile weekender bag I picked up from council clean-up on the roadside. What should I put in it? Magazines? Toys? Throw blankets?

I picked this painting up at a garage sale when I was in high school. I painted the frame gold. My mother once noted that those flowers would make the vase top heavy and tip over. I don't mind. I've always loved it.

 

• 
• 
• 
• 

 

I rescued these odd drawers from the roadside. They have some water damage but inside are very clean. I got some polka dot contact paper and will show you an "after" photo when I get time to clean them up.

The purple chair was another roadside pick up that I gave a coat of paint, as was the little table I painted grey and now use in the courtyard off our bedroom. The white chair was roadside pick up too, and I intended to restore it and use it in Sprout's room, but I love it in the courtyard, holding some gardening bits and bobs so it never made it inside.

I suppose I like found things because there is an experince, a history, or a story attached to them. My Michigan grandmother's house is beautiful, filled with her own finds over the years. Her approach to design has shaped me absolutely. My Pennsylvania grandmother is ever practical and thrifty. My father ran an antique restoration business when I was young. Also, I was raised with my parents creating innovative and lovely spaces with what could be found at hand. Interiors didn't come from a store, they grew out of life, relationships, and adventure.

Call me crazy for picking things up off the side of the road, or choosing a vintage thrift store thermos rather than buying a new one, but I love seeing the potential in something that has been passed by, and bringing it to life again.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Well, I sure am glad to have the support network I told you about!

 Small Sun had been coughing at night and running a fever some nights, but was waking up fine and with plenty of energy in the morning. I kept sending him to school, even though I thought a day of rest would probably be a good idea. 

 Sunday I could see that he was really lagging and resolved to take him to the doctor after dropping Sprout off at school. Thankfully a friend had the baby and Finch at home, as I was supposed to take the 2 year old girl to daycare 45 minutes away from school.

 Our quick trip to the doctor turned into a trip to the radiologist for x-rays, which had to be collected two hours later, before taking the x-rays to the doctor to confirm - pneumonia.

 Oh my goodness. 

 That was yesterday. Since then, four out of five kids have been running fevers. The 2 year old, let's call her Blossom, had a pediatrician visit already scheduled for this morning. My same dear friend kept three kids at home while Sprout went to school and I took Blossom to her doctor. She has a virus. I think they all have a virus! Except Sprout, who is pirouetting through it all. 

 The Captain came home from work early today to take Small Sun back to the doctor. I just couldn't imagine taking five kids, four of the sick, to a small doctor's exam room. The Captain is such a rockstar husband, and doing foster care ONLY works for us because he does so much around here.

 The infection wasn't responding to the antibiotics so they doubled the dose and also recommended some medicine to clean the mucus out of his chest. So now he is choking down large amounts of foul tasting medicine like a champion. 

 This is the first time in his life that he has had antibiotics (unless he had some as a toddler that I've forgotten). I'm trying not to freak out about pneumonia and what if everyone else gets it...my poor baby.

 Foster care gets tricky when your own kids have some serious needs, and the foster children also have pressing needs. 

 Blossom missed daycare on Monday because by the time we got through the first two doctor visits it was noon and she was falling asleep in the car. 

 Today the girls' family contact visits were cancelled because of them being sick, but otherwise I would have had to load up my sick crew and drive them with me to the contact. I still haven't figured out how to balance it all. 

 Amidst all this, my heart is growing another layer of compassion as I nurture two new children with their specific needs and challenges, and hurts. I wonder if I'll ever get over the anger that rotten stuff happens to such little people? Probably not. 

 I am so aware of how vulnerable children are. They look to their parents to love them, provide for them, and meet their needs. When the parental relationship breaks down, they  are completely reliant on other people to do the right thing by them. They have no power, no say, no leverage. That poor little sweetheart was terrified at the doctor today, and all I could do was try to comfort her and tell her "I won't let anyone hurt you when you are with me." She has only known me for a few weeks but right now, as far as she is aware, I am all that is standing between her and things that she feels threatened by.

 It is so much to put on a little person. It is so much for them to bear. I just try to let peace and kindness be paramount in my every interaction with the girls. I can't imagine what it must be like to be so powerless. I want to do everything I can to contribute to their healing and stability, while they are with me. Even in the midst of fevers, and school runs, and pneumonia!

 

Community and Foster Care

This second experience with foster care has be thinking about the importance of a supportive community and how much that can impact the success of a placement.

I was dealing with some serious stress about this placement and I told my friends. I didn't tell them to pressure them into helping me. I told them because I was stressed and I think being honest is a really important key to making sure I don't end up depressed and overwhelmed on my own.

My friends have amazed me.

The girls have been with us four days. On the first day a precious friend offered to bring my older kids home from school, and deliver dinner to us as well. She followed through even though her own child stayed home sick from school that day, even arranging the little details like calling the school to make sure the kids knew they were riding with her, etc. Amazing.

The next day another friend offered to bring the kids home and said she could do the same several other days.

Yet another amazing friend gave me a list of days from her calendar and said "I can do whatever you need, for as long as you need, for as many of these days as you like. Just tell me."

Another amazing sweetheart said "these are the days I can get off of work early to come and help you with the bath/dinner/bedtime routine."

Tears are coming up just writing it down.

We are so blessed.

This abundance of thoughtful helpfulness has brought me over the line from being totally stressed, to enjoying having these girls with us. 

Not everyone can or should adopt or do foster care. However, if you want to support adoptive or foster care families and contribute to what they are doing, these kinds of offers of help can make a world of difference.

Other bloggers have written thorough and fantastic posts about what people can do to help, I just wanted to take a minute to honor the stunning people I have in my life who value me and what we are doing, not just with verbal affirmations, but with actions. I have never felt so surrounded.

My friends started lifting me up even before I started to drown. Is there someone in your life doing something you admire or want to support? I'm sure you can find a way to support them. You might never know how much of a difference your help might make!

Did You Hear Me Fall Off the Planet?

After my flurry of February photos it might have been noticeable when I suddenly went silent. Or maybe not? Here's what happened:

The phone company sent a letter about our line to THE WRONG ADDRESS (for the third time in the last 8 months), and when they received no response (Because we didn't receive it because we don't live at THE WRONG ADDRESS), they disconnected our phone line, and thus, our internet.

Then, when we had that sorted out, the internet provider said they would charge us a $90 switch on fee for activating a new service for us.

It took about a week and a half for them to get it all sorted out before our internet was restored.

You may have discovered that I am not a blogger who writes from her iPhone or takes her laptop to a cafe, or accepts creative offers of wifi genius from her husband. I don't have an iPhone or a laptop and if I could write a blog with a Bic pen on the back of a used envelope, that would be my preferred method of writing. Ahem.

So, moving on, here's the recent news:

1. The dog got another haircut and again resembles and overgrown mouse.

2. There are currently three children sleeping simultaneously downstairs. We are still working to transition two little girls to our place before they come to stay for three weeks of respite care starting next week. 

3. I have the most amazing friends in the universe, everyone is assembling with offers of help while we have the girls with us. Maybe because I look like I am about to LOSE MY MIND every time I talk about the logistics of adding two more (little) kids who have five (now four) days of recurring appointments scheduled every week.

4. My husband is good at talking me down when I get into the panic stratosphere. I am working at being good at talking myself down.

5. Things have been up and down with adoption lately. Bad news, bad news, good news! Local adoption (through foster care) seems to be out for sure, the wait in international has been mentioned to be 6-8 YEARS, but I think we qualify to apply for that luxurious process.

6. Some of our very best, best, bestest friends are coming from Nashville to Sydney, to play at the big country festival happening in The Hunter next weekend. I can't wait to see them!

7. Colour Conference is on the 15-17th and 22-24th. I won't get to attend very much of it this year, but I am still excited to be part of the community that supports the conference.

8. As usual with the change of seasons, I am homesick. It has been flooding all over NSW, but today is a sunny day with a crisp sky, and the morning was cool. One apple is starting to turn from rusty green to mauve on my tree.

More to come another day, internet permitting...