News

So, I have something to tell you. News that I have sat down to release, then closed my laptop with a definite "click" more times than I can tell.

I like to tell my news when it is all tied up in a neat little bundle, like a gift that everyone will be happy to receive, not when it feels like a carton of eggs that has fallen to the floor - some having survived the fall, but most leaking out into a clear and orangy puddle on the floor.

Here goes-

1. We're moving

2. B is gone

Where do I start?

The last year has given us several opportunities to step back and acess where we are at, and what we want for our children's childhood. While we LOVE Sydney, and our wonderful life, we really are SO FAR from both of our families. With the yeras whizzing by, we decided to make a move to get us closer to family, to ensure that fantastic memories with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and extended family is a more central part of our children's experience.

We made that decision nearly a year ago, shortly after receiving B. We hoped that by deciding to move in roughly a year's time, we had given a more than adequate window for B to transition to his long term care situation, whatever that would be.

Court was set for December, and we were told he would be moved early January...but then court rescheduled to March, then delayed to dates in May and June. Now court has finished, but a ruling still has not been handed down. In the end, the decision was made to move B to another temporary foster family since his case is still unresolved and the move we planned for July is rushing at us with tremendous speed. Together with his caseworkers, The Captain and I agreed that it would not be good for B to have our house packed up around him; that he needed our full attention to help him transition before we had to switch into full-move-mode.

Our timeline has been shaped by our belief that our children will have the greatest chance of success if we move during the school holidays here, and arrive before the start of the new school year in the U.S. They get to experience the natural close of a term, and then start strong with a new class.

I tell you this like a confession. I wanted to deliver B into the arms of his long-term mother (be that through restoration to his mom, or to a permanent care family), and to transition him to yet another temporary home (wonderful as the carers are) feels like a failure. This is the knife twist of foster care - balancing the needs of the long term family with the needs of a short term member, and navigating the space when the two diverge.

I believe that the choice we are making to move is 100% the best one for our children in this season, and that our time frame is spot on.

The house is on the market. Work contracts are being negotiated. We are spending meaningful time with friends, and gradually shedding layer after layer of accumulated living, in preparation for shifting our life from here to there.

There are so many things to tell, to process, to discuss. I'll start doing that soon. But for today, this is what I am strong enough to tell. We're moving, and B is gone, and we're all jumbled up with elation and sadness.